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Smarter Other Half

Hey Hey!

This is something that has happened a couple of times and I do feel pretty dumb literally pretty dumb when a guy I have been in a relationship with or dated for a little while is so much smarter then I am. I wouldn’t say I’m stupid but there have been times when big words have been used or certain interests or discussions have come up and I haven’t got a clue. Very embarrassing.

Thinking back to when I was younger I was one of those people who looked liked they could be really brainy but deep down wasn’t very academic so who it was always awkward when people would want help. There were times when I knew what was going on and could offer my help but other times I just had no idea bout anything, As I got older I tried to get more interests and meet more people and have more meaningful conversations but there was always someone who had that much more knowledge then me that was enough for me to feel intimidated.

When it comes to dating someone you don’t want to be made stupid in anyway you want to be able to show something of yourself for your own self respect and self worth but there are times when you may not feel like that when it feels like someone is showing you up. With the Long Haired One he was really smart and had knowledge about lots of different things and during our conversations I found myself having to look up what he meant to make sense of things but I did end up telling him the truth bout how I felt, He was quite understanding and told me not to feel inadequate in comparison to him and that it did not effect our relationship. 

Something I guess I could say is that you should never feel ashamed that you aren’t smart enough, as everyone has different wisdom and interests in life and so you should never compare yourself to your other half.  Your other half could seem smart in one way but may lack knowledge in something that you know all about. Always know that you are a unique and wise in your own way and your other half will Love you just as you are and will consider themselves lucky to have you.   

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Not So Sweet….When you are being taken advantage of

Hey Hey! 😀

What can I say I hear and read way too much about this sort of thing and it is not right at all but its something that exists and I do feel that’s its important to make these things known and not have them hidden. There are so many people out there whether they are people you know or people you hear about in the news who experience sexual assault and its just getting ridiculous how many people out there think its perfectly ok and how many people even choose to keep quiet about it.

People who are in positions with people they know whether its in a school environment, work environment or just out and about (or even your own home) its very difficult to know whether what’s happening is ok or not (As I am typing this I am sure people are getting confused by this but it will make sense in a minute) When you are around someone who you have to show respect for or in a position where you feel you need to be nice sometimes its hard to speak up for yourself without creating a scene or effecting things like jobs, education or even friendship. The mistake here is that you forget that you have self worth and respect for yourself and no one should feel its ok to disrespect you and you not do anything about it. Its not ok and its not right either. There are people that will help you and be understanding if you just tell someone and if possible tell the person themselves to back off and to stay away from you as it is unwanted attention. It isn’t necessary to swear or worry about coming off rude as you have every right to tell them exactly where to go as without your consent they should not be invading your personal space.

There is another thing that is why people keep quiet sometimes its not because of losing a job or anything like that sometimes its gaining a reputation or having friends judge you or disrespect you. This is something that confuses me a lot. If you are a victim in this what name will you gain when the person who is wrong is the one abusing you. This is another reason to speak up, if you don’t the other person will, they will tell people that it was you and they will make  the whole thing look like they didn’t do anything wrong at all and that you are just one of “those types” of people, whether you are male or female it can turn on you both so don’t think that you are ok either way. Speak up and make yourself heard and don’t feel ashamed when you aren’t wrong. Please be careful and look after yourself and make sure that people aren’t overstepping the mark

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

 

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Views on intimacy

Hey Hey! 😀 

BE WARNED I HAVE ALOT OF LINKS TO SHARE WITH YOU. PLEASE CLICK IF YOU FEEL THEY ARE USEFUL 😀

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2015/09/22/are-you-ready-for-love-making-your-first-time

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2016/12/27/respect-yourself-and-you-will-be-respected-in-turn

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2016/12/13/practice-makes-perfect-part-2-intimacy 

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/02/07/bonding

Intimacy is one of those things people will always look at differently and I feel that its important to establish the fact that not all views are the right way for everyone. Lots of people prefer things certain way, some people like others to be very affectionate and loving towards them and some people will prefer things to be slightly rougher and for someone else to kind of “take charge” but its better to work out what you like. The links above I feel maybe useful with this particular subject although they don’t really touch this exact subject. There are people very new to this subject that think being a certain way and adopting certain mannerisms is what other people like and automatically assume that’s how they should do things, but this isn’t right and most likely will effect your future relationships. There is also a very important thing to remember and that is to be the way you are and do things the way you like and think of others and not to assume you know. It makes things better for all. Also realising that the use of TV shows, films or even books as examples, does not reflect real life, The way its portrayed  is not always the way real love and affection is shown and its definitely something to take into consideration.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

 

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Long Distance :0(

Hey Hey! 😀

I may or may not have mentioned that me and the Long haired one are long distant at the moment due to certain circumstances. I for one have never experience this kind of relationship before and to be honest I am finding it really hard to deal with. I have a previous post about how I was feeling. Please click link to read post:https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/feeling-vulnerable

Long distance relationships are one of those things that when you have feel the struggle and sadness of being apart for so long you start to wonder whether this relationship is even worth all this. There are many people around that live much closer who you could actually spend time with and see often and not have to worry about if and when you will see each other soon and many people wont understand this…. I was one of them. Looking back to when I was younger back in the days when I was trying to make friends online I met people who lived on the other side of the UK or even the other side of the world and even though I was in a place to get caught up in conversation I did realise that when It came to it having someone who lived closer meant more to me. I cant remember if I ever mentioned this but before I had my first boyfriend I was talking to a guy that lived in America and he seemed to really like me and I think I was more in a place of infatuation so when my friend decided to change our relationship I decided that I was going to date him instead of the American guy because I wanted a boyfriend id actually be able to see and hold more then once a year and to be fair I’m sure that what we all want deep down. When it came to online dating with a dating website I was trying to find people that lived closer as living over an hour train ride was just too much for me even though the people I talked to seemed really nice I just wasn’t sure bout the distance.

Fast forward to where I am now I wont say long distance is a relationship you have because that’s what  you want or look for but if it comes to it and you meet someone you think is absolute magic then why not at least attempt to make something special out of it. As we get older we lose people that were once special and close to us a little bit or all together and meeting new people can be difficult and once we make that special connection distance should be no obstacle especially if you can handle it.

 The Long Haired One I see something special in and I want to see if we can make this work until its possible to have a relationship where we live closer to each other again. At this time we are trying to aim for a more once a month meet and at least a phone call or video call a day with random messages throughout to keep us going obviously its not the same but its as close as we are gonna get right now and sad as it is we look towards a brighter future for us both.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Songs Of Love: Real Love- True Love

Hey Hey! 😀

This is a song I had heard many times and I feel that it perfectly reflects the sort of Love pretty much every relationship experiences realistically. This is Pinks True Love song.

To listen to this song and watch the adorable video with her little girl please click the link:  https://youtu.be/zsmUOdmm02A

There comes a time in every relationship when you love someone enough to be with them but wonder why you stick around even when they drive you crazy. This song I really enjoy listening to and that’s pretty much all there is to it ;0P 

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Special Someone and Online Dating Experience

Hey Hey! 😀

This is a very new experience for me and I honestly don’t know how I am going to deal with this but I am determined to at least try. I have mentioned that My Special Someone and I are no longer together in a previous post and I am now dating the Long Haired One. I also may not have mentioned that the Special Someone and I are now Friends only and so I continue to meet with him and spend time with the Furry Princess as well once a week to catch up and we have stopped the phone calls.

When I was completely single things were fine and Special Someone’s behaviour had not changed towards me but  when I started my online journey I didn’t want to hide things. Regardless of our previous relationship we are friends and I want to keep an open and honest friendship if possible, so I mentioned my profile on a dating site and asked if he wanted to be kept in the loop or be kept out of everything. He chose to not know so I never mentioned who I had gone out with and what happened, I just used to say I went out wherever I did and he never questioned who I went with. I don’t want complications, he is aware of my dating and the rest he does not need to know regardless of our past and our present friendship, the rest isn’t his business anymore, as harsh as it sounds but its a reality I try to accept.

Many people I have spoken to friends, colleagues and even the new friends I made on the dating site have had mixed reviews on the fact that I am friends and meet on a regular basis with an ex. Majority have expressed their concerns but try to be supportive and a few have expressed their disagreement and feel I should cut my ex loose. In spite of everyone’s opinions I have stuck to what I feel and that is with an open and honest friendship. I can make being friends with my ex work and we will continue to be friends as long as its working for us both. The day it doesn’t… well I guess we will have to talk about it and find a way around things and if we cant sort anything we may have to go our separate ways. My Special Someone and I have been a big part of each others lives, 6years worth of relationship plus almost a year of friendship and the fact that we are parents to a very special Furry baby has made us almost a family and I cant imagine life with out them. I know its not ideal and it will bring complications but as far as I know the Long Haired One is ok with my friendship and trusts me enough to be comfortable and as he said if its not romantic he has no problem with it and I agree especially as he can trust in me I know I can trust in him too. Trust after all is the foundation to any relationship, without it everything crumbles…

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Follow up on the Date For The Family Post

Hey Hey! 😀

I don’t know if you have been reading my blog posts for awhile or reading first time but either way I just wanted to talk about something from a previous post that I may need to elaborate on a bit so for that please click the link below:

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/04/25/a-date-for-the-family

Well as I have mentioned before I had accepted dates from people, spoken to people and accepted friendships from a few that I have met on a dating website. I may not have mentioned but aside from a Bengali guy from about ten years ago I randomly met once, I have not gone out with Asian guys. I’m not entirely sure of how that happens but I seemed to get more interest from guys who aren’t Indian, somehow I’m just not their cup of tea(or chai shall we say :0p). Anyway I actually got a message from someone who was Indian and like the nice person I am (yeah I said that bout me :D) I replied and spoke to him. I don’t think I was attracted to him or anything but as I was speaking to him as a friend he found out that I hadn’t gone out with an Indian guy, so wanted to meet for that very reason of being the first one to go out with me.  

Thinking back to conversations I have had with my parents about things I know they want me to be settled down pretty soon as in case you didn’t know I am now 29years old and for some its that age of thinking about marriage. My parents have asked a few times if there was someone in my life or if I wanted them to find someone for me. When I was in a relationship it just never seemed like the right time to discuss meeting the parents so I told them there wasn’t anyone and that I didn’t want to get married. They then decided that I was in a relationship but wasn’t telling them so asked me to invite them round but at this time I was single. My mum kept saying she would find someone “nice” for me and I could get married to them, I knew she was being jokey but deep down I know that they want all their children to be settled and happy.

There was a time when I hadn’t met my Special Someone and it was after my First boyfriend when I had met up with someone and I thought I would tell my mum straight away (if you didn’t know my first relationship was only 49days long and I never got the chance to think about talking about him to the family) and she was in the hospital at the time and the guy I met with was Italian. She told me to bring a nice Indian boy home. I wasn’t sure if this was what my mum really wanted or was she just under a lot of medication still. My family aren’t racist or prejudice against anyone but I guess when it comes to their own children maybe deep down they want to hold on to what little tradition and culture we have and that may come in to marrying someone with the same background as you.

The reason I accepted to meet the Indian boy off the dating site was for that reason alone. My family. I had two “white” boyfriends and I had dated people outside of my culture but meeting that boy was a mistake as I didn’t do it for me. When it comes to dating, relationships and even love I think its important to realise that the only one to make the decisions is you and you alone. Your family and friends will have their opinions but if your aren’t happy and you don’t have a connection with someone it cant be forced and you cant keep everyone happy. If the people that care about you truly care for you they will learn to realise that your happiness is important and will be happy for you. That’s something I learnt and I feel happy where I am with the Long Haired One because we connect and enjoy each others company and that can never be faked.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x