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Meet the parents :D- I finally brought someone home!

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I don’t think I ever mentioned this but here it is now. I have never brought a guy home to meet my parents!! :O:O:O

(the lions are just from my previous blog Meet the Parents click link below to read:

¬†https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/10/17/meet-the-parentsfamily/)Yep in spite of 3boyfriends including the long term one I could never tell my family bout me dating….However lucky number 4 got to experience it first hand on his side as well as mine. This wasn’t particularly a proper meeting as it was an impulse for him to come collect me from¬†for our date. It didn’t exactly go to plan but I do feel that the fact that I ¬†even took this step means that I am really serious bout the Sweet One being in my life. I finally tried to be brave and take a bit more control of what I want. This meet was very short so I am planning to do this again maybe teatime or dinner or something when my siblings aren’t around so the Sweet One can talk to my parents. I know there may be somethings they wont approve of but all I need for now is the awareness and acceptance and as for¬†the liking him stuff¬† that will come when they get to know him more.

Wish me luck! ;0)

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Update on my Love Life!

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I have had¬†a little update in the world of relationships and¬†here I am putting my heart on the line to attempt a relationship once again. I have been hurt badly before and have been down the road of online dating and eventually found someone which was bit of a whirlwind and then who disappeared on me altogether in the past.¬†Right now my update is that I now I have a BOYFRIEND ūüėÄ

This time round I’ve met someone in real life meaning not from online and we have both been talking everyday and meeting up¬†when we can.¬†I’m in an awkward place where I feel happy¬†but afraid to let myself get too close and I guess previous experiences has now caused this, especially since with¬†the Long Haired one I tried to put as much effort as I could in¬†to it and ended up losing him after all. With this relationship I am going to take¬†things as they come and try and keep a¬†good enough balance.¬†¬†

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Update on the Long Haired One

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I guess I am back to another dates diary blog post and this time its not so good news….

After a little over 4months of being with the Long Haired one I guess things kind of got a bit much for the both of us. Finding out we had to be long distance for a start, I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope with and sadly the Long haired one had his own demons to deal with, as well as trying to keep a relationship with me going and it was doing neither of us any good. I really liked him and wanted to keep our relationship and attempt a future together but¬†I guess we weren’t destined, to make it any further then we have in our relationship.¬†There were trust issues and insecurities which made matters worse and slowly slowly it wore us down, to a point where we had to go separate ways for betterment of us both. Whether or not we become friends I am not sure, whether or not I will hear from him again I do not know but I feel the break up was meant to be. The grieving period seemed to last a few days and I¬†managed to pick myself up pretty¬†quickly and after a week I was feeling more myself.

Being with the Long Haired One certain situations did come up and the trust just was not there for him and the distance making the temptation of having someone more attentive and more in person was playing on my mind. I have never been one to cheat and I have never been one to be disloyal but realising I was getting more attention from colleagues and friends more then my significant other it made me question whether this relationship was for me as in previous relationships I never looked at anyone else. Having crushes while in a relationship has never been normal for me and was the first sign that this relationship was slipping slightly and I was feeling insecure.

I have always made it clear in my mind that being settled with a life partner and a new place to live where I could have my own family. ¬†I have always wanted a serious relationship and time doesn’t seem to wait for anyone, so if I want something I need to attempt it now and waiting for something that may or may not happen just doesn’t seem ideal. I’ve been there before with the Special Someone and even though I don’t regret the relationship I do regret pushing something that maybe wasn’t meant to be, although its hard to know if it is and its hard to not want to put in effort.

The Long Haired One and I have had a very sweet and intense relationship at times and I am glad I met him and I am thankful for the connection we shared. Its a shame it did not last but maybe its for the best. He made it easy for me to move on from the Special Someone and made me realise that there are people who will be understanding to my situation and accept me the way I am as well as join in my madness and he will be remembered and not forgotten and maybe he will return after disappearing from my life….

 

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Smarter Other Half

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This is something that has happened a couple of times and I do feel pretty dumb literally pretty dumb when a guy I have been in a relationship with or dated for a little while is so much smarter then I am. I wouldn’t say I’m stupid but there have been times when big words have been used or certain interests or discussions have come up and I haven’t got a clue. Very embarrassing.

Thinking back to when I was younger I was one of those people who looked liked they could be really brainy but deep down wasn’t very academic so who it was always awkward when people would want help. There were times when I knew what was going on and could offer my help but other times I just had no idea bout anything, As I got older I tried to¬†get more interests and meet more people¬†and have more meaningful conversations but there was always someone who had that much more knowledge then me that was enough for me to¬†feel intimidated.

When it comes to dating someone¬†you don’t want to be made stupid in anyway you want to be able to show something of yourself for your own self respect and self worth but there are times when you may not feel¬†like that when it feels like someone is showing you up.¬†With the Long Haired One he was really smart and had knowledge about lots of different things and during our conversations I found myself having to look up what he meant to¬†make sense of things but I did¬†end up telling him the truth bout how I felt, He was quite understanding and told me not¬†to feel inadequate in comparison to him¬†and that it did not effect our relationship.¬†

Something I guess I could say is that you should never feel¬†ashamed that you aren’t smart enough, as everyone has different wisdom and interests in life and so¬†you should never compare yourself to your¬†other half.¬† Your other half could seem smart in one way but may lack knowledge in something that you know all about. Always know that you are a unique and wise in your own way and¬†your other half will Love you just as you are and will consider themselves lucky to have you. ¬†¬†

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Songs Of Love: No matter what- Gonna Get Better

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I was going through some songs I had in my playlists on YouTube and I found this one and it just seemed kind of sweet in a way so here it is for you.

This song is by Fifth Harmony and from the last album they did as a group of five. The song is called Gonna get better. I think there is another version of this song but I liked this one. 

Please click the link to listen to the song:https://youtu.be/0D9TDch5ve0

This song definitely seems to be about reassurance in the fact that no matter what anyone else seems to have or the insecurities that you cant give enough to someone they still want you and only you whether it looks like there is temptation in having more the satisfaction is in just having you.

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Feeling Vulnerable

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Hmmm… this is kind of strange. I didn’t think I would end up feeling this way again but here I am. As mentioned before my relationship with my Special Someone has ended and I have managed to move on with the Long Haired One but I didn’t think I would end up having these awkward feelings again. Being with the Special Someone I remember at the beginning I did suffer from a bit of clinginess and vulnerability and it caused some issues in the relationship and we ended up having a lot of serious discussions and after that I thought I had resolved everything and wouldn’t be like this again… turns out I was wrong.

The Long Haired One and I have been slowly getting through our relationship, taking our time to get to know each other properly but there are certain things that seemed to make me feel uneasy. One thing I can say about the Long Haired One is that I feel I can trust him and there is nothing in him that seems like he will wrong¬†me but I do feel quite vulnerable and I do feel the need to talk and be around him often even when it is not possible.¬†I don’t like being apart from him and I constantly feel the need to be with him and it makes¬†no sense. I try to keep myself occupied with other things in my life but at the end of the day the missing him part just becomes more vivid and it just makes me feel quite sad and lonely. I have wondered why if I am able to trust him do I feel these strange feelings and if they will go away as in the back of my mind I know he wont leave me or cheat me but the front feels slightly vulnerable et that something bad could happen. I don’t know if any of this makes sense but this is kind of what is going through my mind at the moment.

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The Long Haired One Part 2

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Well I did say there was going to be a part two and so here it is ūüėĬ†

After meeting the Long Haired One talking on the phone after was slightly different in one way as I had more of an image of him then I did before, but our conversations and interaction with each other remained the same. I was thinking along the lines of meeting with him again and he seemed to agree that it was the best way forward, as he knew where he was with me, he knew he liked me before when we had talked and he liked me slightly more, when we had met and he wanted me to be sure of things.

At the time I think the only thing I was really confused about was the psoriasis thing, how did I really feel bout it, was it an issue or did I really not feel anything while being around him. I know I enjoyed talking to him on the phone and in person and I know that I liked him in someway and that after meeting I knew we had some kind of tension (like our magic moment). It was kind of upsetting me a little bit as I had such high expectations as I really felt something when speaking to him and meeting up just kind of confused me a bit and it just made me feel really really shallow which I’m normally not like. The second meet we planned I decided to take him to the park closer to home, as I do like to share it with everyone as its such a nice place. We agreed on a time and place and waited for that day to come.

The second date came round and the weather was just not looking good at all and I did wonder whether or not it was a good idea to do the park or not as there aren’t a lot of sheltered places. I got to the train station where we was to meet and eventually he showed up (yes late again lol timekeeping may not be his strong point I’ve noticed) Well finally he showed up and we headed off in the direction of the high street for some food. We picked up what we wanted and then started off for that slightly longish walk in the direction of the park. I finally got to sit on that bench!! No one was on it! ūüėÄ Its a good one if you ever go there, (Nice bench, bin nearby and a good view of the lake :D) and that’s where we sat to eat. We had a conversation and then I thought I would take him for a walk ;0) It did kind of rain and we ended up testing my “wind proof” umbrella while sitting on the slightly quiet golf course. We seemed to bond over films and childhood stuff and it was kinda nice in spite of our differences we did have some things in common. I had a nice day and was feeling slightly more comfortable especially as the psoriasis wasn’t such a big thing this time round as I have seen him and seen the psoriasis plus I really like talking to him also at some point I had that weird feeling in my stomach when we sat with each other.

It was getting colder and time was moving on so we headed back the way we came to head off home. Before we went our separate ways I guess there was one thing we had to do first…..another magic moment.

There is another update :D:D  

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