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First Holiday!!!

Hey Hey! 😀

I mentioned in one of my other posts that I would be going on holiday. What I didn’t mention that this would be my first holiday without my family. Growing up I had a group of friends and when we had some savings aside and felt old enough we decided to plan to go away together but since there was so many of us it was difficult to even plan anything as everyone wanted something different and we just couldn’t agree so ended up doing nothing. Getting into relationships especially my long term one I expected to go away at some point together but he just never seemed interested and kept telling me to do things with other people. My family had their own plans with relationships, my siblings went with their friends or other halves and my parents did a random 4-5 days here and there over the year. Due to all the above I have not been away for bout 8years and I mean a flight holiday not the coach and train days trips and weekends I randomly do.

Since me and my Sweet One have been together a  few months now we haven’t really properly had time alone away from people at work or families at home and since we met during the winter time we never had a chance to really go many places but since the weather is heating up we have decided to book our first holiday together. Since neither of us have gone away in a relationship we decided to do no longer then a week just in case. I really doubt we will have any problems being together all day everyday but its a precaution and even though we are both looking forward to it we want to make sure we plan things in such away that we have no problems and can freely enjoy our time together.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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The Sweet One- The One I’m seeing now

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(BE WARNED ITS A LONG ONE)

I have mentioned before that i am seeing someone so I thought I would let you in on our little story… After meeting pretty much every guy I’ve dated or been in a relationship with online I actually met this one in person first.

About a year ago I remember first seeing the Sweet One at work and there was always something about him that I noticed, I’m not really sure what it was, he had his curly hair tied in a pony tail and he was wearing a hat and a hi vis vest but I could never really get a good look at his face. I still remember the first time I talked to him and I wasn’t sure what he was doing at work so I thought I would ask. He barely looked at my face so I assumed he was kind of shy so we had a very quick conversation and since then I always made an effort to say hi when I saw him. Funny enough during the time I put up my dating profile I did actually think about asking him if he wanted to go out but decided against it in the end thinking he wasn’t interested.

Fast forward to Winter last year…

There was a time when we managed to talk a bit more and at this time I was seeing the Long Haired one and I remember telling him about him and showing his picture and saying he reminded me of him. Mostly because of the hair and their names started with the same letter and other little things but in reality they were very different. During that conversation it came up that he had never been in a relationship before and we talked bout how I met the Long Haired one. After that he disappeared for a few weeks and I actually missed him and wondered what happened and when he came back I started to realise that I would go out my way to talk to him before I left work and I wanted to be his friend and I was definitely drawn to him. The Long Haired one and I were long distanced and I guess not having been together very long before we became long distanced, I realised I wanted attention that I wasn’t getting from him.

Coming up to December I started to realise I might actually have a crush on the Sweet One, I started to notice him a lot more at work and I started to think about him and it was never inappropriate thoughts, it was just thoughts in general. I felt so bad, I had never looked at anyone else when I’ve been in a relationship and to me it was not a good thing and I felt so ashamed. I decided to talk to a friend at work and she said its normal to have random crushes on people but it doesn’t mean anything as you aren’t doing anything you aren’t getting close or intimate with them but in spite of that I didn’t feel good. I realised it was insecurities otherwise I would never feel the need to notice anyone else but my significant other and so I felt it was important to discuss this with the Long Haired One.

After the craziness and the break up with the Long Haired one and after the process of grieving, I still couldn’t move from my thoughts bout the Sweet One and I thought it was better to find out if he might be interested or not, then fully move on and maybe stay single for a bit. I originally thought I would get my friend from work to talk to him but then I decided there was no way to really have a talk and maybe it might be better to write him a note. I told him my thoughts and asked him and left him my number and I was planning to give it to him before I left work, but towards the end of the day I decided he might not be interested. I headed off to go home but on the way out I bumped in to my friend and she tried to convince me to go and give it to him but then offered to do it herself and that’s how it happened I guess. When my friend came back she was all smiles and thumbs up and said he would text me after he was finished at work. He did text and even today I remember pretty much every word that started off us dating. This was the start of a new relationship…

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X x x

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Update on my Love Life!

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I have had a little update in the world of relationships and here I am putting my heart on the line to attempt a relationship once again. I have been hurt badly before and have been down the road of online dating and eventually found someone which was bit of a whirlwind and then who disappeared on me altogether in the past. Right now my update is that I now I have a BOYFRIEND 😀

This time round I’ve met someone in real life meaning not from online and we have both been talking everyday and meeting up when we can. I’m in an awkward place where I feel happy but afraid to let myself get too close and I guess previous experiences has now caused this, especially since with the Long Haired one I tried to put as much effort as I could in to it and ended up losing him after all. With this relationship I am going to take things as they come and try and keep a good enough balance.  

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X x x

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Update on the Long Haired One

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I guess I am back to another dates diary blog post and this time its not so good news….

After a little over 4months of being with the Long Haired one I guess things kind of got a bit much for the both of us. Finding out we had to be long distance for a start, I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope with and sadly the Long haired one had his own demons to deal with, as well as trying to keep a relationship with me going and it was doing neither of us any good. I really liked him and wanted to keep our relationship and attempt a future together but I guess we weren’t destined, to make it any further then we have in our relationship. There were trust issues and insecurities which made matters worse and slowly slowly it wore us down, to a point where we had to go separate ways for betterment of us both. Whether or not we become friends I am not sure, whether or not I will hear from him again I do not know but I feel the break up was meant to be. The grieving period seemed to last a few days and I managed to pick myself up pretty quickly and after a week I was feeling more myself.

Being with the Long Haired One certain situations did come up and the trust just was not there for him and the distance making the temptation of having someone more attentive and more in person was playing on my mind. I have never been one to cheat and I have never been one to be disloyal but realising I was getting more attention from colleagues and friends more then my significant other it made me question whether this relationship was for me as in previous relationships I never looked at anyone else. Having crushes while in a relationship has never been normal for me and was the first sign that this relationship was slipping slightly and I was feeling insecure.

I have always made it clear in my mind that being settled with a life partner and a new place to live where I could have my own family.  I have always wanted a serious relationship and time doesn’t seem to wait for anyone, so if I want something I need to attempt it now and waiting for something that may or may not happen just doesn’t seem ideal. I’ve been there before with the Special Someone and even though I don’t regret the relationship I do regret pushing something that maybe wasn’t meant to be, although its hard to know if it is and its hard to not want to put in effort.

The Long Haired One and I have had a very sweet and intense relationship at times and I am glad I met him and I am thankful for the connection we shared. Its a shame it did not last but maybe its for the best. He made it easy for me to move on from the Special Someone and made me realise that there are people who will be understanding to my situation and accept me the way I am as well as join in my madness and he will be remembered and not forgotten and maybe he will return after disappearing from my life….

 

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X x x

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Long Distance :0(

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I may or may not have mentioned that me and the Long haired one are long distant at the moment due to certain circumstances. I for one have never experience this kind of relationship before and to be honest I am finding it really hard to deal with. I have a previous post about how I was feeling. Please click link to read post:https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/feeling-vulnerable

Long distance relationships are one of those things that when you have feel the struggle and sadness of being apart for so long you start to wonder whether this relationship is even worth all this. There are many people around that live much closer who you could actually spend time with and see often and not have to worry about if and when you will see each other soon and many people wont understand this…. I was one of them. Looking back to when I was younger back in the days when I was trying to make friends online I met people who lived on the other side of the UK or even the other side of the world and even though I was in a place to get caught up in conversation I did realise that when It came to it having someone who lived closer meant more to me. I cant remember if I ever mentioned this but before I had my first boyfriend I was talking to a guy that lived in America and he seemed to really like me and I think I was more in a place of infatuation so when my friend decided to change our relationship I decided that I was going to date him instead of the American guy because I wanted a boyfriend id actually be able to see and hold more then once a year and to be fair I’m sure that what we all want deep down. When it came to online dating with a dating website I was trying to find people that lived closer as living over an hour train ride was just too much for me even though the people I talked to seemed really nice I just wasn’t sure bout the distance.

Fast forward to where I am now I wont say long distance is a relationship you have because that’s what  you want or look for but if it comes to it and you meet someone you think is absolute magic then why not at least attempt to make something special out of it. As we get older we lose people that were once special and close to us a little bit or all together and meeting new people can be difficult and once we make that special connection distance should be no obstacle especially if you can handle it.

 The Long Haired One I see something special in and I want to see if we can make this work until its possible to have a relationship where we live closer to each other again. At this time we are trying to aim for a more once a month meet and at least a phone call or video call a day with random messages throughout to keep us going obviously its not the same but its as close as we are gonna get right now and sad as it is we look towards a brighter future for us both.

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X x x

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Feeling Vulnerable

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Hmmm… this is kind of strange. I didn’t think I would end up feeling this way again but here I am. As mentioned before my relationship with my Special Someone has ended and I have managed to move on with the Long Haired One but I didn’t think I would end up having these awkward feelings again. Being with the Special Someone I remember at the beginning I did suffer from a bit of clinginess and vulnerability and it caused some issues in the relationship and we ended up having a lot of serious discussions and after that I thought I had resolved everything and wouldn’t be like this again… turns out I was wrong.

The Long Haired One and I have been slowly getting through our relationship, taking our time to get to know each other properly but there are certain things that seemed to make me feel uneasy. One thing I can say about the Long Haired One is that I feel I can trust him and there is nothing in him that seems like he will wrong me but I do feel quite vulnerable and I do feel the need to talk and be around him often even when it is not possible. I don’t like being apart from him and I constantly feel the need to be with him and it makes no sense. I try to keep myself occupied with other things in my life but at the end of the day the missing him part just becomes more vivid and it just makes me feel quite sad and lonely. I have wondered why if I am able to trust him do I feel these strange feelings and if they will go away as in the back of my mind I know he wont leave me or cheat me but the front feels slightly vulnerable et that something bad could happen. I don’t know if any of this makes sense but this is kind of what is going through my mind at the moment.

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X x x

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Meet the Parents/Family

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Well (I always seem to start this way) I think this is something I haven’t really mentioned or if I have maybe I have forgotten but its something that has happened recently so maybe talk now 😀

Also don’t think I’m putting a pride of lions picture because families are scary and its symbolic I just couldn’t find a picture I wanted to use although it this picture fits in with this post for then its all good 😀

Meeting the family is a big thing in any relationship but sometimes it takes a more casual role depending on how you look at it, the family you are seeing or sometimes how old you are or the type of relationship you are in.

I remember meeting my first boyfriend’s mum, It was just her as I he didn’t have many family members. I never really got to talk to her much but she did know me from my calling the house. I saw her maybe two or three times in passing. The very first time I met her I guess I didn’t really think much of it, as I normally see my friends parents when I visit their house and I kind of viewed it the same way, as we were already friends but I never met his mum the first time I went to his house, I met her when we had our “first date” at  his house. When we did get together I don’t think his mum knew who I was. She seemed quite nice but  I was told she wasn’t but I cant really judge from the times I met her. 

My second boyfriend’s mum (I did not meet his sister or his dad) I met twice and then once or twice when we weren’t in the relationship. First time meeting her was very quick and kind of awkward as her partner was there and he didn’t really like people being around her (he wasn’t a well person so had some issues with certain things) We were out posting leaflets in the area and stopped at his mums place so had quick introductions. Officially meeting her when she invited me for tea it was quite nice and I had no problems and I think she liked me. Again boyfriend wasn’t too sure about how our meeting would go based on previous ex’s (I did well :0P).

My current boyfriend (The Long Haired One :D) I had a slightly unplanned meet the parents (yep this time round I met both mum and dad and the furry siblings too) when I was meeting my boyfriend at his temporary living arrangement at his parents place and so meeting his parents was unavoidable at 2months in to our relationship. I stayed with them for the weekend and I was very welcomed and I think they liked having me around. Again I wasn’t too worried about anything there was no stress I just somehow got on with them.

I’m sure meeting the parents or their family could be a little daunting but I guess its all in your head and how you take it, In my situation meeting their family wasn’t too bad I somehow got through it all ok. The slightly scarier time for me would be the meet MY family bit as even at the ripe old age of 29 I never ever brought a boyfriend home. I always wanted to make sure I knew the person properly or long enough, it was the perfect time as in the relationship and the stuff with family was all good. I wanted to be more prepared in how to go about it and many many other things and so things always kept coming up and it just kept getting pushed back and back. This time I’m going to do it. When and how I have no idea but if you would like to share your comments below it would be very useful.  

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x