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I want you all to myself

Hey Hey! 😀

I discovered something strange about myself and that is sometimes I can be a little bit greedy and selfish. When I say that you probably think I’m just a horrible person who doesn’t know how to share and who thinks it is perfectly ok to take as much of anything and everything she wants without a care or thought of others. I would say that too… but this is different

When I say I am a bit greedy I mean that I want to keep someone with me all the time and have them spend all their time with me and when I say I’m a bit selfish I mean that I don’t want to share that person with anyone else at all I just want to keep them all to myself.

I’ve been with my Sweet One for quite a few months now and I’m always experiencing crazy moments even ones like this. I’m not jealous of who he spends time with and I have no problem with other people who get close to him because I know he thinks of me as his but even then my crazy head just doesn’t want him to be with anyone else but me. I’ve always tried to make a point of balancing different parts of your life and never focusing on one thing too much as with relationships it can be unpredictable. Making sure to keep other parts of your life going is very important but lately my life is him and only him and right now I don’t even feel bad as I Love every moment we have together and even if things go bit weird we make it out almost as quickly as we entered it. I Love him and I want to have him all to myself….

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X x x

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First Holiday!!!

Hey Hey! 😀

I mentioned in one of my other posts that I would be going on holiday. What I didn’t mention that this would be my first holiday without my family. Growing up I had a group of friends and when we had some savings aside and felt old enough we decided to plan to go away together but since there was so many of us it was difficult to even plan anything as everyone wanted something different and we just couldn’t agree so ended up doing nothing. Getting into relationships especially my long term one I expected to go away at some point together but he just never seemed interested and kept telling me to do things with other people. My family had their own plans with relationships, my siblings went with their friends or other halves and my parents did a random 4-5 days here and there over the year. Due to all the above I have not been away for bout 8years and I mean a flight holiday not the coach and train days trips and weekends I randomly do.

Since me and my Sweet One have been together a  few months now we haven’t really properly had time alone away from people at work or families at home and since we met during the winter time we never had a chance to really go many places but since the weather is heating up we have decided to book our first holiday together. Since neither of us have gone away in a relationship we decided to do no longer then a week just in case. I really doubt we will have any problems being together all day everyday but its a precaution and even though we are both looking forward to it we want to make sure we plan things in such away that we have no problems and can freely enjoy our time together.

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X x x

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Random conversation- Swimsuit VS Bikini

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Thinking about the holidays I did get myself a swimsuit and no I didn’t opt for the bikini I’m not comfortable in it and I don’t think it will flatter me, in spite of people saying given how skinny I am I could wear anything and not worry. Knowing my body and what would roughly suit me and hide certain things I’m not happy about I disagree with those comments and kept the one piece swimsuit I had, which I might add I look pretty good in ;0)

Talking to the Sweet One he said I’d look nice in a bikini and said he would like to see me wear one day when I showed him what I was going to take with me on holiday(more on this later). I told him that fair enough I put one on for him so he can see me in a bikini but he won’t be the only one seeing me in. He asked me who else I would be showing it too but I replied that when we go to the pool and beach together other people will see me and even other men would look at me and I asked him if he really wanted other people to see me that way. Funny enough and slightly surprisingly enough he said he didn’t want other people looking at me. I thought he would reply with something like “I want everyone to see my girlfriend and how pretty she looks in it and that she is mine” but I guess he realised something, I thought the whole conversation was quite odd. Either way whether he wants to see me in a bikini or not it would be my choice in what I want to wear and I’m going to stick with my colourful, flattering one piece which I know I’m going to feel comfortable on my holiday in and enjoy it too besides the Sweet One already agrees I look nice in it so its only going to encourage me to wear it more 😀

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X x x

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Meet the parents :D- I finally brought someone home!

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I don’t think I ever mentioned this but here it is now. I have never brought a guy home to meet my parents!! :O:O:O

(the lions are just from my previous blog Meet the Parents click link below to read:

 https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/10/17/meet-the-parentsfamily/)Yep in spite of 3boyfriends including the long term one I could never tell my family bout me dating….However lucky number 4 got to experience it first hand on his side as well as mine. This wasn’t particularly a proper meeting as it was an impulse for him to come collect me from for our date. It didn’t exactly go to plan but I do feel that the fact that I  even took this step means that I am really serious bout the Sweet One being in my life. I finally tried to be brave and take a bit more control of what I want. This meet was very short so I am planning to do this again maybe teatime or dinner or something when my siblings aren’t around so the Sweet One can talk to my parents. I know there may be somethings they wont approve of but all I need for now is the awareness and acceptance and as for the liking him stuff  that will come when they get to know him more.

Wish me luck! ;0)

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X x x

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The Thoughts of Disappointments

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I decided to share something else today and its more to do with my feelings of right now. I have explained in past posts about a new development in my Love life which is the Sweet One (although lately I’ve been thinking of him as the Sweet but Crazy One :0P) and how this relationship is slightly different to the others I’ve had. In this relationship my Sweet One is the one experiencing the new shiny stuff of relationships and I can see his eyes wide like a magpies at this rate and I just have these odd feelings I will fail as a girlfriend and a future life partner. I know that he will always be understanding to my craziness but it does not mean that my feelings that I could be a great disappointment to him ,of what Love and relationships are will disappear and it horrifies me that I could be the cause of his faith and trust as well as belief being damaged. In past relationships I have always made jokes about how I am “The Best Girlfriend Ever!” knowing full well I could never say it and mean it or even think it could be remotely true as the confidence in myself is lacking and it makes me wonder how I can be in a relationship at all.

Expectations and disappointments have a tendency to end up hand in hand sometimes and it jus makes you not want to get too hopeful or excited of what the future holds and in my case its this relationship. I really like the Sweet One and I know he could be good to me but I just cant bring my to expect too much from him and I know there must be expectations on his side but he will never say and I feel I should really know what they are so as not to be too much of a disappointment to him. I want to be a good girlfriend and hopefully a great future life partner where I can fill his life with happiness but there’s this little feeling in the back of my head that just feels I will never achieve that.  

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X x x

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First Relationship- EVER!

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I have talked about many of my relationships and in all of them I’ve always been the least experienced one but this time round I’m apparently the “more experienced” one. The Sweet One has never been in a relationship before and had never dated anyone before me.

I have noticed somethings about the Sweet One and that is he is trying a lot harder then he needs to, most likely as he really doesn’t want this to fail, he seems quite clingy towards me, he is overly protective and very affectionate, All of these things I have noticed in myself at some point at the beginning of dating and its rather surreal being on the other end of it as I am now experiencing what the “other” other halves had to go through when they were me, I can say it does feel a little bit too much sometimes but as I always try to be as understanding as possible as I cant remember exactly how I was or even how much I was and if they put with me I guess its just a case of me doing the same… I mean that’s fair right ;0)

Growing up I always used to hear bout guys our age being immature or less experienced in how to treat a girl in a relationship and so girls used to opt for older men who were more experienced but I find that someone who hasn’t been in a relationship to be someone who may not always get things right but who is trying so hard to do so. He will always appreciate you, he wont cheat on you (well it seems unlikely if you are his first), he will always offer to help you, he will always want to be affectionate, he will talk to you for hours on end simply just to hear your voice and want to be around you and hold you close just because you are his and I think all of that is pretty sweet in itself.

Being the “more experienced” makes me feel a lot of pressure to know what I’m doing and to not break their heart by accident. I really don’t want to hurt him and its something I feel I might do and I have no idea why. Everything that we do together I want to make nice and special as if it was my first experience in dating and relationships I would want to make a big deal out of it and so I’m trying to make that happen for him. He has come to mean a lot to me and I don’t want to disappoint him in anyway.

Although things seem are a bit odd right now what with the constant want to be touching, close or even just nearby for as long as possible I do find that being around his company makes me feel more special as he wants to make the effort with me, he is excited about our relationship and I really feel that if he could he would do absolutely anything for me. He is in fact drowning quite badly and heaven knows why he things so highly of me but even though I’m still uncomfortable (I’m weird bout anything nice about me) I am flattered he likes me at all 😀  

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X x x

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Smarter Other Half

Hey Hey!

This is something that has happened a couple of times and I do feel pretty dumb literally pretty dumb when a guy I have been in a relationship with or dated for a little while is so much smarter then I am. I wouldn’t say I’m stupid but there have been times when big words have been used or certain interests or discussions have come up and I haven’t got a clue. Very embarrassing.

Thinking back to when I was younger I was one of those people who looked liked they could be really brainy but deep down wasn’t very academic so who it was always awkward when people would want help. There were times when I knew what was going on and could offer my help but other times I just had no idea bout anything, As I got older I tried to get more interests and meet more people and have more meaningful conversations but there was always someone who had that much more knowledge then me that was enough for me to feel intimidated.

When it comes to dating someone you don’t want to be made stupid in anyway you want to be able to show something of yourself for your own self respect and self worth but there are times when you may not feel like that when it feels like someone is showing you up. With the Long Haired One he was really smart and had knowledge about lots of different things and during our conversations I found myself having to look up what he meant to make sense of things but I did end up telling him the truth bout how I felt, He was quite understanding and told me not to feel inadequate in comparison to him and that it did not effect our relationship. 

Something I guess I could say is that you should never feel ashamed that you aren’t smart enough, as everyone has different wisdom and interests in life and so you should never compare yourself to your other half.  Your other half could seem smart in one way but may lack knowledge in something that you know all about. Always know that you are a unique and wise in your own way and your other half will Love you just as you are and will consider themselves lucky to have you.   

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X x x