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Long Distance :0(

Hey Hey! 😀

I may or may not have mentioned that me and the Long haired one are long distant at the moment due to certain circumstances. I for one have never experience this kind of relationship before and to be honest I am finding it really hard to deal with. I have a previous post about how I was feeling. Please click link to read post:https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/feeling-vulnerable

Long distance relationships are one of those things that when you have feel the struggle and sadness of being apart for so long you start to wonder whether this relationship is even worth all this. There are many people around that live much closer who you could actually spend time with and see often and not have to worry about if and when you will see each other soon and many people wont understand this…. I was one of them. Looking back to when I was younger back in the days when I was trying to make friends online I met people who lived on the other side of the UK or even the other side of the world and even though I was in a place to get caught up in conversation I did realise that when It came to it having someone who lived closer meant more to me. I cant remember if I ever mentioned this but before I had my first boyfriend I was talking to a guy that lived in America and he seemed to really like me and I think I was more in a place of infatuation so when my friend decided to change our relationship I decided that I was going to date him instead of the American guy because I wanted a boyfriend id actually be able to see and hold more then once a year and to be fair I’m sure that what we all want deep down. When it came to online dating with a dating website I was trying to find people that lived closer as living over an hour train ride was just too much for me even though the people I talked to seemed really nice I just wasn’t sure bout the distance.

Fast forward to where I am now I wont say long distance is a relationship you have because that’s what  you want or look for but if it comes to it and you meet someone you think is absolute magic then why not at least attempt to make something special out of it. As we get older we lose people that were once special and close to us a little bit or all together and meeting new people can be difficult and once we make that special connection distance should be no obstacle especially if you can handle it.

 The Long Haired One I see something special in and I want to see if we can make this work until its possible to have a relationship where we live closer to each other again. At this time we are trying to aim for a more once a month meet and at least a phone call or video call a day with random messages throughout to keep us going obviously its not the same but its as close as we are gonna get right now and sad as it is we look towards a brighter future for us both.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Meet the Parents/Family

Hey Hey! 😀

Well (I always seem to start this way) I think this is something I haven’t really mentioned or if I have maybe I have forgotten but its something that has happened recently so maybe talk now 😀

Also don’t think I’m putting a pride of lions picture because families are scary and its symbolic I just couldn’t find a picture I wanted to use although it this picture fits in with this post for then its all good 😀

Meeting the family is a big thing in any relationship but sometimes it takes a more casual role depending on how you look at it, the family you are seeing or sometimes how old you are or the type of relationship you are in.

I remember meeting my first boyfriend’s mum, It was just her as I he didn’t have many family members. I never really got to talk to her much but she did know me from my calling the house. I saw her maybe two or three times in passing. The very first time I met her I guess I didn’t really think much of it, as I normally see my friends parents when I visit their house and I kind of viewed it the same way, as we were already friends but I never met his mum the first time I went to his house, I met her when we had our “first date” at  his house. When we did get together I don’t think his mum knew who I was. She seemed quite nice but  I was told she wasn’t but I cant really judge from the times I met her. 

My second boyfriend’s mum (I did not meet his sister or his dad) I met twice and then once or twice when we weren’t in the relationship. First time meeting her was very quick and kind of awkward as her partner was there and he didn’t really like people being around her (he wasn’t a well person so had some issues with certain things) We were out posting leaflets in the area and stopped at his mums place so had quick introductions. Officially meeting her when she invited me for tea it was quite nice and I had no problems and I think she liked me. Again boyfriend wasn’t too sure about how our meeting would go based on previous ex’s (I did well :0P).

My current boyfriend (The Long Haired One :D) I had a slightly unplanned meet the parents (yep this time round I met both mum and dad and the furry siblings too) when I was meeting my boyfriend at his temporary living arrangement at his parents place and so meeting his parents was unavoidable at 2months in to our relationship. I stayed with them for the weekend and I was very welcomed and I think they liked having me around. Again I wasn’t too worried about anything there was no stress I just somehow got on with them.

I’m sure meeting the parents or their family could be a little daunting but I guess its all in your head and how you take it, In my situation meeting their family wasn’t too bad I somehow got through it all ok. The slightly scarier time for me would be the meet MY family bit as even at the ripe old age of 29 I never ever brought a boyfriend home. I always wanted to make sure I knew the person properly or long enough, it was the perfect time as in the relationship and the stuff with family was all good. I wanted to be more prepared in how to go about it and many many other things and so things always kept coming up and it just kept getting pushed back and back. This time I’m going to do it. When and how I have no idea but if you would like to share your comments below it would be very useful.  

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Special Someone and Online Dating Experience

Hey Hey! 😀

This is a very new experience for me and I honestly don’t know how I am going to deal with this but I am determined to at least try. I have mentioned that My Special Someone and I are no longer together in a previous post and I am now dating the Long Haired One. I also may not have mentioned that the Special Someone and I are now Friends only and so I continue to meet with him and spend time with the Furry Princess as well once a week to catch up and we have stopped the phone calls.

When I was completely single things were fine and Special Someone’s behaviour had not changed towards me but  when I started my online journey I didn’t want to hide things. Regardless of our previous relationship we are friends and I want to keep an open and honest friendship if possible, so I mentioned my profile on a dating site and asked if he wanted to be kept in the loop or be kept out of everything. He chose to not know so I never mentioned who I had gone out with and what happened, I just used to say I went out wherever I did and he never questioned who I went with. I don’t want complications, he is aware of my dating and the rest he does not need to know regardless of our past and our present friendship, the rest isn’t his business anymore, as harsh as it sounds but its a reality I try to accept.

Many people I have spoken to friends, colleagues and even the new friends I made on the dating site have had mixed reviews on the fact that I am friends and meet on a regular basis with an ex. Majority have expressed their concerns but try to be supportive and a few have expressed their disagreement and feel I should cut my ex loose. In spite of everyone’s opinions I have stuck to what I feel and that is with an open and honest friendship. I can make being friends with my ex work and we will continue to be friends as long as its working for us both. The day it doesn’t… well I guess we will have to talk about it and find a way around things and if we cant sort anything we may have to go our separate ways. My Special Someone and I have been a big part of each others lives, 6years worth of relationship plus almost a year of friendship and the fact that we are parents to a very special Furry baby has made us almost a family and I cant imagine life with out them. I know its not ideal and it will bring complications but as far as I know the Long Haired One is ok with my friendship and trusts me enough to be comfortable and as he said if its not romantic he has no problem with it and I agree especially as he can trust in me I know I can trust in him too. Trust after all is the foundation to any relationship, without it everything crumbles…

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Putting a photo in your wallet

Embrace Change Purse- I thought this was very fitting :0)

Hey Hey! 😀

I’m sure at some point in your life you would have put a picture of someone you love in your wallet or even someone you just really like, but have you ever had to really think bout it or is photos in wallets not something you do. During my relationship with my Special Someone, I had never owned a wallet with a photo section until we was a couple of years in, but as soon as I did get one which had the little photo section, I immediately went to look for a picture of my Special Someone to put in it. I printed one I liked and kept it in there until the Furry Princess came along and she shared the photo space with him.

(If you have read previous blog posts you will know that my Special Someone and I no longer share the relationship of being a couple however I am dating someone new. The Long Haired One Please click the link to see post of our first meeting https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/09/05/the-long-haired-one/)

The relationship with my Special Someone had ended and I felt ready enough to remove the photo from the wallet and just kept the one of the Furry Princess. The Furry Princess’ picture was fairly small as I wanted both to be seen so I thought maybe I would put a bigger one of her in but when I had met the Long Haired One and decided to keep him, I felt maybe I could put his picture in instead. I knew which one I wanted to put in (its a very cute one that I took on our 5th date:D) but for some reason I felt guilty about it. I felt happy in one way that I had given the Wallet Photo Section Honour to my newly found boyfriend but I just felt awkward bout the Special Someone (I will be adding a blog post about my Special Someone and the dating experience)

The happy side of having the Long Haired One in my wallet was a nice feeling like I could carry him around wherever I go and that he has grown important enough for me to want to upgrade our relationship in all ways possible even in something as small as adding a photo in my wallet. The other happy side is that in spite of the slight guilt (because of the Special Someone) the fact that I can embrace the change of having a new relationship and seeing the change physically in something as small as replacing a photograph that I had kept in my wallet for years and putting a new one with a different person on it, made me feel good that after everything I have been through I am capable of moving on every step of the way. 

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Why I wanted a boyfriend

Hey Hey! 😀

Looking back around 10years ago being a teenager I had wanted a boyfriend but not because everyone else had one or because I wanted to experience intimacy but because I was alone. Ok before you start thinking sad loner girl but it wasn’t exactly like that. I had my friends and my own little life going on but having my part time job and my friends all off at University I just wanted to have someone who would do anything to spend time with me and be there when I needed them. My own Special person who I’d become their whole world (maybe that is a slight exaggeration but you know it’s a nice thought to have as a teenager). 

Having a boyfriend meant that I would be able to have someone to talk about everything and anything to and they will still accept me, someone who would never ask me to change myself unless it was truly to help me become a better person not because they don’t like it and also to become a potential life partner.

Being in a relationship was more then just someone to be intimate with because I felt inexperienced and more then someone to buy me pretty things so I didn’t have to spend money, it was like the start of my dream of having my own family, Love and my own Special Someone.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X  x x

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It is time to talk about me

17459071542_c3835b4d48_oHey Hey!

I had written this post at the beginning of the year but felt was more appropriate to schedule for my anniversary date as I wasn’t comfortable yet. 

I have not been able to bring myself to talk about this for exactly a year but today I would have been celebrating my 7year Anniversary, just like I would have been celebrating my 6year anniversary last year. I am single and with out my Special Someone. I share a lot of things on this blog but this time I am going to just stick to just talking about how I am feeling more then what happened.

Relationships are of course very important parts of out lives no matter what relationships they are and how long you have had them, they will always have a Special place in you Heart. They become apart of our future and they even make changes in our lives for the better and sometimes for the worse but whatever happens it’s always something we just can’t find ourselves forgetting.

My Special Someone was very important to me and I had planned on building a future with him with a commitment and babies. Having to go separate ways has really affected me on the inside and the out. I felt like my whole world had been shaken up and that time had flown by and I had found myself losing everything I had ever known. I have suffered so much emotionally and even today a year later it is just like it happened yesterday. I can picture the very day and how I felt and even though I am trying to hold things together and carry on the rest of my life, there is still a part of me that just can’t let go. I really wish I could move on but something deep inside is stopping me.

My Special Someone and I had such a deep connection and such a bond that not being able to be together and make the commitment I thought we would be making in the near future, is making me so depressed. I Love him so much but deep down I hate him and I am finding it hard to hate him as I understand things. I have been pouring my heart out in therapy and on the shoulders of close friends but I just feel like a burden and a mess. I just want to live my life and accept my future with out him as my life partner. When I want this so much why aren’t I allowed to have it. I want to move on and not be so depressed and even though I always had such a positive attitude my Heart is exhausted. I just can’t do it any more. Part of me has wanted to give up but I can’t do that and I can’t forget either.

Love is beautiful but it can also turn your life upside down when things get too complicated. In spite of all this I still believe in Love and Happy Endings and it may not be with this Special Someone but maybe another when the time is right for me. 

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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I See the Good and Nothing But the Good

Hi Hi! 😀

I am sure this is something everybody does at some point in their life.

There are lots of relationships that we will come across in life whether they are friendships or more and there are times when we feel so close to these people that we can’t say anything bad about them, hear something bad about them or even want to know something bad about them.

I remember that people always used to think that I was turning a blind eye towards my Special Someone’s flaws but things were never like that. I did see lots of good about my Special Someone but I also saw the bad bits and I had accepted them. There is a slight difference between pretending the flaws don’t exist and accepting them to the extent that they feel like they don’t exist. I have always believed that Love is unconditional and that no one is going to be perfect and making someone seem like they’re perfect won’t make them seem like they are any less flawed.

When it came to me I think it made me uncomfortable to hear things about people I know but I always try to keep an open mind and use what I already know about the person to make the best judgement. There are some people out there who will say things just to be evil (jealous?)or because they care about you and are just looking out for you. It’s not the easiest thing to work out but you have to go with your gut to know what is right. When people are trying to look out for you try not to get annoyed with them saying things about your other half as the only person you should worry about what they think about them is you. You are the important person and what you think counts more.

However you can actually be Love blind towards your other halves problems and actually think they are all good and nothing but good. Your other half is not some kind of superhuman so don’t treat them like they are, treat them as your Special Someone, flaws and all

 

Share Your Thoughts!:D

X x x