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Follow up on the Date For The Family Post

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I don’t know if you have been reading my blog posts for awhile or reading first time but either way I just wanted to talk about something from a previous post that I may need to elaborate on a bit so for that please click the link below:

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2017/04/25/a-date-for-the-family

Well as I have mentioned before I had accepted dates from people, spoken to people and accepted friendships from a few that I have met on a dating website. I may not have mentioned but aside from a Bengali guy from about ten years ago I randomly met once, I have not gone out with Asian guys. I’m not entirely sure of how that happens but I seemed to get more interest from¬†guys who aren’t Indian, somehow I’m just not their cup of tea(or chai shall we say :0p). Anyway I actually got a message from someone who was Indian and like the nice person I am (yeah I said that bout me :D) I replied and spoke to him. I don’t think I was attracted to him or anything but as I was speaking to him as a friend he found out that I hadn’t gone out with an Indian guy, so wanted to meet for that very¬†reason of being the first one to go out with me. ¬†

Thinking back to conversations I have had with my parents about things¬†I know they want me to be settled down¬†pretty soon¬†as in case you didn’t know I am now¬†29years old and for some its that age of thinking about marriage. My parents have asked a few times if there was someone in my life or if I wanted them to find someone for me. When I was in a relationship it just never seemed like the right time to discuss meeting the parents so I told them there wasn’t anyone and that I didn’t want to get married. They then decided that I was in a relationship but wasn’t telling them so asked me to invite them round but at this time I was single. My mum kept saying she would find someone “nice” for me and I could¬†get married to them, I knew she was being jokey but deep down I know that they want all their children to be settled and happy.

There was a time when I hadn’t met my Special Someone and it was after my First boyfriend when I had met up with someone and I thought I would tell my mum straight away (if you didn’t know my first relationship was only 49days long and I never got the chance to think about talking about him to the family)¬†and she was in the hospital at the time and the guy I met with was Italian. She told me to bring a nice Indian boy home. I wasn’t sure if this was what my mum really wanted or was she just under a lot of medication still. My family aren’t racist or prejudice against anyone but I guess when it comes to their own children maybe deep down they want to hold on to what little tradition and culture we have and that may come in to marrying someone with the same background as you.

The reason I accepted to meet the Indian boy off the dating site was for that reason alone. My family. I had two “white” boyfriends and I had dated people outside of my culture but meeting that boy was a mistake as I didn’t do it for me. When it comes to dating, relationships and even love I think its important to realise that the only one to make¬†the decisions is¬†you and you alone. Your family and friends will have their opinions but if your aren’t happy and you don’t have a connection with someone it cant be forced and you cant keep everyone happy. If the people that care about you truly care for you they will learn to realise that your happiness is important and will be happy for you. That’s something I learnt and I feel happy where I am with the Long Haired One because we connect and enjoy each others company and that can never be faked.

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Long Haired One Part 3 -UPDATE!

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Well I’ve been¬†scheduling posts so we are just a little behind on things so I may need to get things up to speed ;0)

Ok well I was really confused about this guy and to be honest for some reason I started to care a lot about what other people think and I do realise that is stupid but¬†at the time I¬†wasn’t thinking straight. After that¬†second date I¬†started to realise that as much as the Long Haired¬†One didn’t want to pressure me he couldn’t not tell me where he was, he really wanted to be with me and I can understand that if you¬†really liked someone you¬†find it hard to be patient. It freaked me out!

After thinking about things and talking to people I decided that if I liked this person then there was no harm in just seeing how things go. I accepted to be with the Long Haired One……but few hours later I freaked out and realised that I wasn’t feeling happy like I thought I would be and so told him (keep in mind this is us talking late at night and me only having a hour or two before getting up for work-4am start) . I felt awful and tried to message him and he wasn’t talking to me. Then I started crying and this was getting a bit weird. Why was¬†I crying if this is what I wanted¬†… I headed off to work crying all the way in the car and then ended up talking to my work friends about what I was going through. I felt sad and my chest was achy and it just made me wonder if maybe a felt and cared more about him then I thought, it was definitely more then a “I want what I can’t have” thing.

I¬†tried to send out a long message¬†on my break realising that I wanted to be with him regardless of what other people would say or think. I waited and waited for a reply until I finally got one. It was not good he thought I was getting in to this relationship wanting something else and expecting it to fail and he wasn’t interested.¬†:0( I got a bit crazy with calls and messages and I wasn’t getting any replies. I got really upset and lets just leave it at I did some crazy things. I managed to get a slight bit of hope (a reply!!)¬†and I took it with both hands. He would talk to me the next day…..

….and I now have a¬†BOYFRIEND ūüėÄ We have met up and spoke to each other as much as possible and I am much happier now that I no longer care what other people say. Why should other peoples words ruin my happiness. It shouldn’t matter what they say and¬†I don’t care anymore and the more I don’t care the less embarrassed I am ūüėÄ I like being with the Long Haired One, I enjoy spending time with him and there is definitely something between us and I’m looking forward to find out more :D:DD:

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The Long Haired One Part 2

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Well I did say there was going to be a part two and so here it is ūüėĬ†

After meeting the Long Haired One talking on the phone after was slightly different in one way as I had more of an image of him then I did before, but our conversations and interaction with each other remained the same. I was thinking along the lines of meeting with him again and he seemed to agree that it was the best way forward, as he knew where he was with me, he knew he liked me before when we had talked and he liked me slightly more, when we had met and he wanted me to be sure of things.

At the time I think the only thing I was really confused about was the psoriasis thing, how did I really feel bout it, was it an issue or did I really not feel anything while being around him. I know I enjoyed talking to him on the phone and in person and I know that I liked him in someway and that after meeting I knew we had some kind of tension (like our magic moment). It was kind of upsetting me a little bit as I had such high expectations as I really felt something when speaking to him and meeting up just kind of confused me a bit and it just made me feel really really shallow which I’m normally not like. The second meet we planned I decided to take him to the park closer to home, as I do like to share it with everyone as its such a nice place. We agreed on a time and place and waited for that day to come.

The second date came round and the weather was just not looking good at all and I did wonder whether or not it was a good idea to do the park or not as there aren’t a lot of sheltered places. I got to the train station where we was to meet and eventually he showed up (yes late again lol timekeeping may not be his strong point I’ve noticed) Well finally he showed up and we headed off in the direction of the high street for some food. We picked up what we wanted and then started off for that slightly longish walk in the direction of the park. I finally got to sit on that bench!! No one was on it! ūüėÄ Its a good one if you ever go there, (Nice bench, bin nearby and a good view of the lake :D) and that’s where we sat to eat. We had a conversation and then I thought I would take him for a walk ;0) It did kind of rain and we ended up testing my “wind proof” umbrella while sitting on the slightly quiet golf course. We seemed to bond over films and childhood stuff and it was kinda nice in spite of our differences we did have some things in common. I had a nice day and was feeling slightly more comfortable especially as the psoriasis wasn’t such a big thing this time round as I have seen him and seen the psoriasis plus I really like talking to him also at some point I had that weird feeling in my stomach when we sat with each other.

It was getting colder and time was moving on so we headed back the way we came to head off home. Before we went our separate ways I guess there was one thing we had to do first…..another magic moment.

There is another update :D:D  

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The Long Haired One

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Well I mentioned a Long Haired One and with this one there was a definitely a thing happening.

I was¬†in the middle of planning my meet with the Greek one (see previous blog post) so I had to tell the Long Haired One that I couldn’t plan a date with him until I had seen through meeting with someone.¬†He seemed ok with what I had said and was happy to just talk until I had decided on what I wanted. We continued to talk through that day until it was night and again til morning and night again until my date with the Greek one. At this point I was kind of leaning towards liking the Long Haired One but I still went through with meeting the Greek one to fully make sure of things. After deciding on a friendship with¬†him I was in a place to think about meeting with the Long Haired One, but I thought we could talk more before making any plans.

We used to talk all the time and I realised that we may be developing some feelings for each other that could all change upon meeting up. I realised that longing things out could cause a bit of disappointment so we just decided on a casual meet up for the next week but the day was brought forward twice and even a third (but  I could not meet at that day) The night before the day we was to meet I was finding it very difficult to sleep and was worried that I had built up some fantasy around this guy, which would mean I may not like him any more once I was in front of him, it actually upset me funny enough. I sent him a message telling him about where I was in my thought process and he told me he was in the same place but he seemed more positive about things. I sent him a message telling him that tomorrow could change everything and that the feelings and what we seem to have built up now was nice and I enjoyed the past week and was appreciative on him replying back to me which led to us talking. I also told him that I really hoped we both find what we are looking for in each other but if not, hopefully we will still be able to be friends.

The “not” a date…..

Well the day arrived and I headed off on my way to meet him at the park (I know you are probably thinking¬†right now, the park? again? lol aren’t you sick of it yet? but no I am not quite sick of them just yet :D) My mouth was drying up and I was finding it hard to swallow, (this was definitely a first experience for me) as I found¬†the bench I was going to meet¬†the Long Haired One¬†and waited.

No one came 5-10mins past of the time we was meant to meet, so I sent a message saying my exact location in case he was lost. Then I needed the bathroom so sent another message saying I would be sitting near the toilets on a bench. After it had now been¬†15minutes I decided to call (I forgot that he did not have credit and he sent a message via WhatsApp, that I could not read as I could not access my data- problem I know :0P)I tried it a second time and this time he picked up, he was running late but said he was walking towards me and could see where I was sitting. At this point I chose to stand up and walk off and asked him if he could see me walking away :0P I sat on another bench and looked around. I called again and he said something bout sitting next to some cute girl (didn’t realise he meant me lol I didn’t see him sit next to me) so I got up again to¬†walk and he ended up showing up next to me randomly.

We ended up in search for a toilet (I know I have mentioned this before but its just what happens I will always need to go to the loo- trains are just too hot¬†of a journey without needing water)¬†that wouldn’t charge me 20p (I had no change)¬†and then found a nice patch of grass to sit on. He took out some food, Pain au Chocolat , he seemed to remember that I do like chocolate chip brioche and I¬†guess this was the next best thing he could find.¬†I showed him some pictures of my Furry Princess and the pond fish I had at home¬†and talked about my trip to see my cousin. We decided to walk a bit more and sat down in another spot and this is where things changed a bit. He was looking at me differently and in the middle of talking he was bout to say something but didn’t. I ended up digging out my notebook and pen- always comes in handy for those cant say moments. We messaged back and forth and it was clear he really liked me and it was really freaking me out a bit and I felt like maybe it was time for another walk.¬† I should mention here that he did have psoriasis which I was aware of but had never seen in person and the fact that he had shaved had made it show up a bit more(it was a lot to take in at once with meeting him for the first time 1. because I had developed feelings for him and 2. he was kind of cute¬†and seeing psoriasis for the first time too which made me feel awkward). We walked around and then ended up having another conversation about where we both were and I just wasn’t sure of things. We connected mentally and I enjoyed speaking with him and there was definitely tension but looking at him I felt nothing. After such an intense week I really was expecting something else. However things slightly changed when I couldn’t let him leave without doing something first but I was still really¬†confused but we definitely had a really magical¬†moment….. ;0)

 The Long Haired One and I did continue speaking and we were going to have a second date so that I could decide on things better. Part 2 is coming.

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