Hello Online Dating!

No you won’t! LOL (I am on something else :op)

Hey Hey! 😀

Well here I am, dating again. I spent along time thinking about this and after hearing some very sad stories from other people about Love, break ups and living life with only their previous partners memories and Love and not wanting to move o,n it just made me feel like the life I had wanted to see in my future was getting further and further out of my hands reach. I know that in my head and heart I that will never stop loving my Special Someone, but it does not mean I am replacing him. I am having a new person enter my life to become a new part of my life because they can’t replace something that they aren’t the same of (bad English? sounds like it, hopefully you get what I am saying anyway) The other thing I was thinking  was that maybe because I have held on for so long that maybe I had let go already but I couldn’t see that I have ,so I thought I would see what would happen with a distraction. I will keep you updated on my very experiences of my dating experience now. I am not really, fully, entirely, ready for new people but I can always make friends 😀

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x


It is time to talk about me

17459071542_c3835b4d48_oHey Hey!

I had written this post at the beginning of the year but felt was more appropriate to schedule for my anniversary date as I wasn’t comfortable yet. 

I have not been able to bring myself to talk about this for exactly a year but today I would have been celebrating my 7year Anniversary, just like I would have been celebrating my 6year anniversary last year. I am single and with out my Special Someone. I share a lot of things on this blog but this time I am going to just stick to just talking about how I am feeling more then what happened.

Relationships are of course very important parts of out lives no matter what relationships they are and how long you have had them, they will always have a Special place in you Heart. They become apart of our future and they even make changes in our lives for the better and sometimes for the worse but whatever happens it’s always something we just can’t find ourselves forgetting.

My Special Someone was very important to me and I had planned on building a future with him with a commitment and babies. Having to go separate ways has really affected me on the inside and the out. I felt like my whole world had been shaken up and that time had flown by and I had found myself losing everything I had ever known. I have suffered so much emotionally and even today a year later it is just like it happened yesterday. I can picture the very day and how I felt and even though I am trying to hold things together and carry on the rest of my life, there is still a part of me that just can’t let go. I really wish I could move on but something deep inside is stopping me.

My Special Someone and I had such a deep connection and such a bond that not being able to be together and make the commitment I thought we would be making in the near future, is making me so depressed. I Love him so much but deep down I hate him and I am finding it hard to hate him as I understand things. I have been pouring my heart out in therapy and on the shoulders of close friends but I just feel like a burden and a mess. I just want to live my life and accept my future with out him as my life partner. When I want this so much why aren’t I allowed to have it. I want to move on and not be so depressed and even though I always had such a positive attitude my Heart is exhausted. I just can’t do it any more. Part of me has wanted to give up but I can’t do that and I can’t forget either.

Love is beautiful but it can also turn your life upside down when things get too complicated. In spite of all this I still believe in Love and Happy Endings and it may not be with this Special Someone but maybe another when the time is right for me. 

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x


I See the Good and Nothing But the Good

Hi Hi! 😀

I am sure this is something everybody does at some point in their life.

There are lots of relationships that we will come across in life whether they are friendships or more and there are times when we feel so close to these people that we can’t say anything bad about them, hear something bad about them or even want to know something bad about them.

I remember that people always used to think that I was turning a blind eye towards my Special Someone’s flaws but things were never like that. I did see lots of good about my Special Someone but I also saw the bad bits and I had accepted them. There is a slight difference between pretending the flaws don’t exist and accepting them to the extent that they feel like they don’t exist. I have always believed that Love is unconditional and that no one is going to be perfect and making someone seem like they’re perfect won’t make them seem like they are any less flawed.

When it came to me I think it made me uncomfortable to hear things about people I know but I always try to keep an open mind and use what I already know about the person to make the best judgement. There are some people out there who will say things just to be evil (jealous?)or because they care about you and are just looking out for you. It’s not the easiest thing to work out but you have to go with your gut to know what is right. When people are trying to look out for you try not to get annoyed with them saying things about your other half as the only person you should worry about what they think about them is you. You are the important person and what you think counts more.

However you can actually be Love blind towards your other halves problems and actually think they are all good and nothing but good. Your other half is not some kind of superhuman so don’t treat them like they are, treat them as your Special Someone, flaws and all


Share Your Thoughts!:D

X x x


Heart and Mind!

Hey Hey! 😀 27498877680_5d5e48a79d_o

There has always been something about following your heart when it comes to Love and dating but I believe things alittle bit differently. I believe that you can actually use both your heart and your mind.

 Looking back at my past dates and relationships I have noticed that I just took an impulse decision to date someone but I over thought the relationship part. The reason I did this was because meeting someone on a first date is just like meeting up with a new friend, in which a friendship may come out of it or you go separate ways completely so nothing is really concrete. However a relationship is a big deal especially when you have never been in a relationship or have been hurt before, so I guess thinking more is pretty normal. Don’t want to get it wrong after all! (but then again that can still happen)

The way I have been thinking is that following your heart is very important for your own happiness. What you like and want comes first, no matter what issues people see in your new man or woman. The practical side of things we tend to forget about but subconsciously it is thought about in some way. A lot of people tend to go for their type without thinking about it because they know what type of people they like but at the same time they have subconsciously thought about the type of person they like. Strange no? 😀

There are of course times when you may favour following your heart or thinking practically more then the other but sometimes it’s a good thing to have the best of both worlds for just in case. Follow up to this post in next post 😀

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x