0

The Ex(es) Vs The Boyfriend/ Girlfriend

Hey Hey! 😀

I’m not sure if we have talked about ex girlfriends and boyfriend but today is the day to do it I think ;0)

Have you ever got with your girlfriends (guy friends) and talked about all the people you have dated, who did what, who you liked more and all the embarrassing stories that came with the relationships. Well comparisons are all well and good with your friends but maybe you should think twice before mentioning anything to your current Lover.

I have always kept conversation with my Special Someone very general when it came to past relationships. I have basically asked the following: Who they were?, How long they were together?, Where they went? etc. I never asked about anything to do with making Love or whether any part of our relationship was different to previous ones.There are times when we have talked about things in detail if one of us felt they could open up about things but never about making Love as that is a weird place to go (not just for us but it should be for anyone as it’s not your business). In my relationship my Special Someone and I have never felt the need to have comparisons of previous relationships the other has had as we are happy together and there really is no need to.

Relationships on T.V and in books have always had situations or friends giving advice on never asking about whether the previous partner was better in bed or was a better girlfriend/boyfriend or did things differently as it would always bring up weird and awkward and very messy conversation/ arguments which will end up with everyone being upset and angry. 

My advice and thoughts to all reading is never asking the following questions:

Was he or she better then me?

Am I a good girlfriend/boyfriend then ……….?

What did you do with your other girlfriends/boyfriends?

Why don’t you do the things with me that you did with your other girlfriends/boyfriends?

When it comes to your relationship, your relationship together is the only one that matters which is why all those other boyfriends and girlfriends are gone and are not currently with your partner. It is important to realise that making comparisons will never make things better and will only remind them of possible bad memories, best to not go there. If you ever feel like to asking anything in depth about their previous relationships, just ask yourself why you need to know. That’s your partners previous relationships which have nothing to do with you, if you think it will make you feel like you are the best girlfriend or boyfriend. Trying to find out what things they did together so you can compete with them is silly. Have some respect for yourself, your partner’s past and their relationship with you. Don’t forget that if you are forever comparing yourself with others you will never truly be happy. Appreciate what you have and be happy 😀  

Share Your Thoughts! 😀 

X x x 

Advertisements
0

Honesty

Hey Hey! 😀

In a relationship you would expect to be able to be open and honest with the person you Love. You may have secrets here and there but by secrets I mean surprises or wanting to wait until the right time to eventually tell the person, but a lot of other things I wouldn’t really agree on. If you are in Love then what do you need to really keep from your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and is it really worth it?

Having to lie to your partner makes you think about the sort of relationship you have and whether trust exists, depending on what you are having to lie about. I always thinks it’s best to be honest with your partner, lies sometimes are just not worth it. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner is always honest with you and never has to lie to you then you should be able to do the same, after all if you can’t even tell the truth to the one you Love, then you clearly have trouble being honest with anyone. Whatever happens in your life I am sure the one you Love will be understanding towards you and if they aren’t and you have to lie to have less problems in your relationship, well then it’s something you really need to think about it. Would you rather be able to breathe easy and not have to constantly stress or would you rather be stuck having to lie one after the other to cover one lie?

My Special Someone and I are a little different from each other but at the end of the day we do care for each other and have a Loving relationship so the things we have kept from each other is mostly because we don’t want to hurt the other. It does not make it acceptable, just so you know. I learnt the hard way. My Special Someone has kept things from me and lied about how he is feeling, which I should really be told about, as when I eventually found out through situations where we have got upset and angry and all is revealed, it is not well received. It made me feel that we are not close, that he can’t share things with me and that he feels it has nothing to do with me. I used to feel it was wrong but what it really was, was not wanting to burden me with what he felt was his problem alone (Communication is key- would never have found out if we hadn’t discussed this). 

In my head a relationship makes you one and the same, you share your happiness and your grief, your problems and your good news nothing is considered mine or yours, always ours.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x 

P.S Just one more thing, if someone isn’t ready to tell you something and you have already asked them, never force them as when they are ready they will tell you.

0

Happy Valentines!

Hey Hey! 😀 13048798303_c8f8837f73_o

That time  is here again. This year I am looking forward to having dessert with my Special Someone 😀 Last year we got a free dessert, this time I think we have to pay :0( but it’s still nice to share it together. I enjoy and appreciate any time I have with my Special Someone and I think it’s important to do it all year and not just on this one year. Do something you enjoy with the one you Love, show them how much they mean to you and how much you Love them. One thing I will say is don’t worry about going all out. Valentines day is something a lot of people will call “a Hallmark Holiday” so buying all the valentine related products in the store and going to the valentines specials at restaurants is just going to put you out of pocket. I think the best way to go is to do something you like to do together no matter how small. Examples 😀

  • Watch a romantic comedy at home
  • Cook a nice 3 course meal together 
  • Have a picnic at the park (if it’s cold eat in the car ;0))
  • Have a drink together and just talk
  • Cuddle time! ;0)

Happy Valentines DAY!! 😀

I hope you and your Loved ones have a lovely day!

Rexina

X x x

0

Lovers Tiff!: Respect

Hey Hey! 😀

Sometimes when things get hard or you have problems you lose sight of the respect you have each other or you might even realise that maybe there is no respect for you at all.

What I will tell you is that sometimes this is a result of emotions, sensitivity and even anger. Relationships will always have problems whether they are big or small, but you should really try to be careful as there is no way to really control you emotions and feelings. Once something is said or done it can never be taken back, even apologies can’t make up for it and as a result your relationship can break. Respect is very important to everyone even more so to certain people and when someone feels like they have been disrespected they find it very difficult to engage with the person who did it. 

The person that you Love or are in a relationship with will always think the good of you and it is very hard for them to come to terms with you being otherwise. You should always think about what you expect from them and behave accordingly. You want respect, well it does have to be earned and will only be given if you respect them too. If Love exists between the two of you, then in no way would you be able to disrespect the one you Love ,but if you can’t control your emotions then there will be problems.

No one is better then the other, no ones situation is more important then the other, do not lose sight of the respect you have for your Love and your relationship. You may regret it otherwise.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

0

Time Apart

Hey Hey! 😀

16975190515_b5a47e3699_o1361584987_feec631047_o

Have you ever had one of those friends that spend every waking moment with their other half? or have you been doing it yourself ? ;0)

Well lets talk about being on the other end of it. You want to meet up with you friend for some girl time (guy time if any of you guys are reading) and they are constantly on the phone texting or actually on the phone to them, they invite them everywhere they go and are never apart. Well sometimes we don’t like it (Sorry). We just want to spend time with you and it has nothing to do with not liking your other half, we just find it hard to be comfortable or be able to talk when they are always there and we can never get you alone. It’s important to understand that we don’t Love them as much as we Love you and that we don’t mind meeting up with them… just not all the time. ;0)

My experience on this was very limited on this as I spoke my mind at the time and me and my friend fell out, but we did start things up again when she understood what I meant. Basically she had met her new man and whenever I called she was with him and he would take the phone off her to talk to me, whenever I wanted to meet up with her she wanted him to come too, half way through us meeting up she said he might meet us halfway to have lunch with us (I did ask her why he would be coming hallway through our day together and she just said that he has to eat :s) and he even wanted to invite me to a birthday dinner and to make things awkward it was actually my birthday and none of my friends, family or boyfriend was invited. My friend’s other half was ok, I didn’t like him that much I was just glad my friend was happy with him, but the main reason I was so against him being there all the time was because of the third wheel thing (I have a post on this which include this couple. See link:https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/third-wheel/ )and the fact that he has other friends to meet with instead of crashing our girly day.

A relationship is a beautiful thing but you don’t need to be joint at the hip to have a perfect and loving one, it is ok to be away from each other and have a bit of independence once in a while ;0) (I have a post on this, see link: https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2015/11/10/being-alone-and-independent/)

Why time apart is a good thing:

You have your own set of friends

You have a chance to miss your other half

You have more things to talk about 

You can experience things you want to do that your other half might not

You can stay as long as you want and leave when you want

You give your other half an opportunity to be independent too

You get to spend quality time with your friends (talking bout you other half ;p)

You don’t need to compromise

I am sure there are many other things but I’m sure you get the idea and we don’t wanna make this post any longer ;0) Enjoy your time apart and together.

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x