Hey Hey!! 😀
I don’t think I have even touched this topic and I feel maybe it is time to do so.
Please note: I am in no way an expert in anything I write (type! ;0))in this blog post I am just sharing my experiences and trying to guide you to make the right choice for you. Please do think carefully about what is right for you and what I have said in this post as once you have made your decision and followed it through it cannot be undone.
When it came to me thinking about my first time, I always imagined it would be with my husband on my wedding night or at least after I was married. In any ones book it would be the most ideal way, but whether or not it happens that way, well that pretty much lies in your hands.
My First Time was when I was 21 years old, for some that may be relatively old, but for me, I was glad I waited. However I do I feel I could have maybe waited a couple more years and it would have been better (maybe you will understand what I mean by that in the future). My First Time was with my second boyfriend (just to be clear I didn’t have two boyfriends at once ;0)) who is my Special Someone, who I have mentioned a few times in this blog.
When it came to making my decision I thought carefully but it wasn’t a full thinking session so I kind of took a bit of a risk(A good risk as we are still together 5years on :D). Thinking of it now I don’t think I will ever look back and have regrets, it was the right thing for us both at that time and I knew I could trust him but I do feel that I was quite lucky which is why I want to write this post.
Please click the link below for my blog post on trust: https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/do-you-trust-me/
When it comes to your first time it’s one of those things you will remember for the rest of your life and it’s one of those things that will make you feel very vulnerable. If I had a daughter I would want to make sure she was fully aware and informed of what could happen and how big a risk she is taking. Even though I consider myself lucky I do realise what could have gone wrong, who could have got hurt (emotionally) and how it would effect me for years to come. An example of this is a South Korean film I watched a little while back called Project Makeover. Here is a link to a wiki page:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Makeover
and a link to the film:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU5T89Ge9kg&spfreload=10
I will make you a little list of what you should think about or what I should have thought more about (it’s in no particular order)
Are you ready? – Do you really know what you are getting into and how you really feel about it? Is it something you want now
Are they the right person?- How do your feel about this guy/girl? Do you really like/Love them or is it just a crush? Does this person feel the same way about you?
Why you are making this decision?- Is this what you want or is it what your partner and friends are telling you to do?
Do you trust them?- Do you know what their intentions are and are you prepared to accept the consequences? What if things don’t go to plan and something happens to you?
Some of these I did think about already but not so in depth, so my request to you is to really think about all these things before you take such a big step as once you’ve taken it you can’t go back. Very important. It’s not always about the pregnancy risk it’s about what you could be risking. Here is another list but this time of the after stuff, the consequences.
They could leave you- some girls or guys are just after you until they get what they want. Once they have it they have no reason to stick around
You could get humiliated- if you are still in a school environment or even if you are not people can make things very public very quickly with all this social media around.
Pregnancy- if you are a girl and have no idea what is going on and you rely on the guy to provide protection this could be the result. Keep yourself well informed on contraception.
You could be used as a something on the side- sometimes there is an actual girlfriend or boyfriend around and you maybe used only for the physical stuff and never anything else. If you are a girl there has always been a thing about never being touched and only “belonging” to that guy.(hopefully this makes sense)
You could have regrets – if this guy or girl turns out to be no good and you meet someone else you may feel that this person should have been your first time and not the other person. You would feel that you should have waited for the right person to come along.
I am sure there are other things to be wary of but hopefully this gives you a idea of what may come.
I am not going to tell you all to wait until marriage for your first time, as sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way, but if you can wait then try to wait it out for that special person to come along but if you feel that now is the right choice and right time then just remember what we talked about. Also I really wouldn’t recommend it being with a crush or anyone you barely know, at least give a few months or a year to get to know them properly, it’s not something you can just give away to just anyone, even if you just want to get rid of it you may kick yourself later.
First times are exciting experiences but they are very risky.
Hopefully I haven’t got you too worried, have fun and take care! 😀
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