This is a sad one but it is something that will happen eventually to people we Love and care about. It is not something I particularly want to share but I feel that it is important to learn how to understand how to approach and deal with the situations.
My Special Someone is a tough one to deal with and when it comes to certain situations he does find it difficult. From a previous and a recent loss I will tell you some things that I have learnt that may be helpful to keep in mind. It will be some sort of list thing. Not in any particular order of importance.
1. Be a shoulder to cry on. Man or woman letting out the tears is a good thing.
2. Listen to everything they want to talk about even if they are basically repeating stuff over and over. They will need to process their thoughts and get things out.
3. Try not to get upset if they feel angered or frustrated with your presence. Try and understand that they are going through stuff and have no idea how to deal with it and sometimes the first thing they express is anger. Leave them be and they will realise what they have done and apologise to you in time. Just don’t leave on bad terms. Let them know you are there for them and leave them be. Never get angry yourself and say things you regret. Even though you may feel hurt it is nothing compared to what they are going through and I’m sure they aren’t saying or doing anything to be evil to you.
4. Offer help with anything and everything. If they need to sort out the funerals or clear up the house let them know that you are able to help. Sometimes things get done better when there is at least one person who as a clear mind. This is also an opportunity to show your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner that you are with them in their bad times not just their good. It is a bonding session in it’s own way and shows you care.
5. Always tell them how it is. If you tell them everything will be ok when it probably won’t be, they won’t like it. They will just tell you that you don’t understand and won’t want to talk to you. Tell them that it is a bad time and that in time they will learn how to deal with things better in future.
6. Always reassure them that you are there for them. Let them know that their grief and loss is important to you, because you care about them and that they can never burden you by wanting to talk or asking for your help.
7. Send sympathy. A card will do. Let them know you care in words as it may get through to them more then you just saying.
8. Never let them feel that their feelings and emotions are wrong, There is no right way to deal with this sort of situation.
9. Make them laugh. Be careful with how and when you do this. I doubt you will get it wrong.
10. Always give plenty of BiG BiG HuGGys!
This is all I can think of right now. I hope that this helps anyone that is reading this, if you have any comments leave them below as i’m sure it will be helpful. I hope those of you going through a situation like this pull through and I also hope you gain the strength and support you need.
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