Hey Hey!! 😀
For today I thought I would talk about phone calls. Phone calls are important for your relationships, especially if you don’t live with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. However not all phone calls go the way you want them to….
I’m sure at some point you’ve cut the phone off, told the other person they aren’t listening to you and had awkward silences. Funny thing about these calls, are that they are never what you’ve expected and what you’ve expected isn’t real. I’m sure you know what I mean, the midnight calls, the talks which go on for hours and the playful fights over who hangs up the phone first, well that is T.Vs idea of phone calls not reality. Not to say it wouldn’t happen just don’t expect it to happen all the time.
Thinking back to past conversations, I think me and my Special Someone managed two of “T.Vs phone calls”. We have managed a phone call that lasted three hours and I have made random calls past midnight. However that was the early stages of our relationship, they are kind of rare now.
I thought I would let you know about dealing with awkward conversations on the phone. These are two things both that I have learned and over come and some I still experience today (why is that? ;0))
I’m gonna cut you off!
One of the first reasons people do this is because they don’t like what the other person has said and is equivalent to storming out and slamming the door, plus if you still have those old style phones, you will remember the satisfaction you get from slamming the phone down. The other reason is not getting what you wanted (petty I know but it has happened to the best of us) What I am going to say may disappoint the phone slamming of you but cutting off the phone is never good.
I remember at the beginning of our relationship cutting the phone was pretty much every week or every other week and I just felt like it would show him that I could get angry and annoyed and that I didn’t want to speak to him until he shaped up. Strange I know but I honestly think it was just the immature part of me, first real relationship, new experiences, how was I to deal?! I also remember picking the phone up again a minute later to apologise, sometimes it made things better sometimes it got worse. My Special Someone didn’t react well to it.
I have realised now that cutting the phone off is not ideal. I think I have succeeded in this :0)(except that one time but that was after so many many months of not doing it :D)
How to deal with you
First of all if you get the urge to cut the phone, just try to stop yourself. If you don’t want to talk and want to get off the phone that is ok, just maybe tell them that first before hanging up on them. If you don’t then you won’t be the only one that is upset, which will just cause more problems as when you are ready to talk they might not be. If you want to make things better maybe try talking it out, discuss whatever you are feeling and end the call in a slightly more positive way. You maybe surprised with the outcome.
How to deal with them
If your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner cuts you off well try not to take it badly. First thing is to analyse the situation and your other half, what is the situation? Are you the one in the wrong? Does your partner need space? do they like to talk about feelings? Once you know, you will know whether you should call them back and calmly ask them what happened or you could send a message asking if they are ok and to ask if you can speak to them tomorrow or just wait for them to come to you. Don’t get angry and say “what the hells your problem?” it will most likely inflame things and it could get much worse then it was to begin with.
This is another fun one…
I remember a good couple of times when I had no idea what to say and my Special Someone had got quiet. I’d always view it as a bad thing and I would always try to make the conversation longer by just rambling on about anything that comes to mind, but I have realised that was a mistake. Sometimes he wouldn’t like it and I’d get upset with him for wanting to get off the phone, it just made the whole situation worse. All because I thought it meant he didn’t like me that much and we weren’t meant for each other. Silly I know.
How to deal
If you don’t know what to say and they aren’t saying much either chances are the conversation is ending and you should just say good bye(yes really) Conversations in a relationship should have some kind of connection between the two of you, it should mean you find things you have in common with each other and that you can have real discussions and not just sweet nothings but it doesn’t mean you need to converse all the time non stop. Sometimes it’s ok not to have anything left to say. If you can make something out of the conversation, then go for it 🙂 but don’t stress if you can’t, just end the conversation as best you can and remember you can always talk again the next day.
When it comes to your next talk try and think of ways to get the conversation flowing. If you are in a fairly new relationship you can try to find out more about each other. What you like doing, eating, where you like to go, what happened to you when you were younger etc. If you been together awhile then it may be difficult but you can use what you know about them to get things flowing, you can ask them about their day, talk about their favourite subject and the things you do have in common.
You’re not listening!
This is one thing that happens to both me and my Special Someone, somehow the listening just stops. I know that I tend to live in my head and that he is used to alot of alone time so sometimes we space out I guess. It does get annoying especially when we have to repeat ourselves and we don’t want to or when we can’t remember what we just said.
How to deal
This is one thing that happens to lots of people, a story is being told and someones not paying attention and then that person gets upset. What I am going to say now may sound strange, but if you are on the phone, don’t be walking around and try not to fiddle with things around you. The reason why is because it is a distraction, your attention is elsewhere and your focus is not the call so you stop listening. If you are the one that gets upset try and choose your words carefully but definetely speak to your other half about it. If you are the one not listening, well try be understanding and listen to your other half 😉
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