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Phones are awkward

Hey Hey!! 😀

For today I thought I would talk about phone calls. Phone calls are important for your relationships, especially if you don’t live with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. However not all phone calls go the way you want them to….

I’m sure at some point you’ve cut the phone off, told the other person they aren’t listening to you and had awkward silences. Funny thing about these calls, are that they are never what you’ve expected and what you’ve expected isn’t real. I’m sure you know what I mean, the midnight calls, the talks which go on for hours and the playful fights over who hangs up the phone first, well that is T.Vs idea of phone calls not reality. Not to say it wouldn’t happen just don’t expect it to happen all the time.

Thinking back to past conversations, I think me and my Special Someone managed two of “T.Vs phone calls”. We have managed a phone call that lasted three hours and I have made random calls past midnight. However that was the early stages of our relationship, they are kind of rare now.

I thought I would let you know about dealing with awkward conversations on the phone. These are  two things both that I have learned and over come and some I still experience today (why is that? ;0))

I’m gonna cut you off!

One of the first reasons people do this is because they don’t like what the other person has said and is equivalent to storming out and slamming the door, plus if you still have those old style phones, you will remember the satisfaction you get from slamming the phone down. The other reason is not getting what you wanted (petty I know but it has happened to the best of us) What I am going to say may disappoint the phone slamming of you but cutting off the phone is never good.

My Experience

I remember at the beginning of our relationship cutting the phone was pretty much every week or every other week and I just felt like it would show him that I could get angry and annoyed and that I didn’t want to speak to him until he shaped up. Strange I know but I honestly think it was just the immature part of me, first real relationship, new experiences, how was I to deal?! I also remember picking the phone up again a minute later to apologise, sometimes it made things better sometimes it got worse. My Special Someone didn’t react well to it.

I have realised now that cutting the phone off is not ideal. I think I have succeeded in this :0)(except that one time but that was after so many many months of not doing it :D)

How to deal with you

First of all if you get the urge to cut the phone, just try to stop yourself. If you don’t want to talk and want to get off the phone that is ok, just maybe tell them that first before hanging up on them. If you don’t then you won’t be the only one that is upset, which will just cause more problems as when you are ready to talk they might not be. If you want to make things better maybe try talking it out, discuss whatever you are feeling and end the call in a slightly more positive way. You maybe surprised with the outcome.

How to deal with them

If your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner cuts you off well try not to take it badly. First thing is to analyse the situation and your other half, what is the situation? Are you the one in the wrong? Does your partner need space? do they like to talk about feelings? Once you know, you will know whether you should call them back and calmly ask them what happened or you could send a message asking if they are ok and to ask if you can speak to them tomorrow or just wait for them to come to you. Don’t get angry and say “what the hells your problem?” it will most likely inflame things and it could get much worse then it was to begin with.

Awkward Silences

This is another fun one…

My Experiences

I remember a good couple of times when I had no idea what to say and my Special Someone had got quiet. I’d always view it as a bad thing and I would always try to make the conversation longer by just rambling on about anything that comes to mind, but I have realised that was a mistake. Sometimes he wouldn’t like it and I’d get upset with him for wanting to get off the phone, it just made the whole situation worse. All because I thought it meant he didn’t like me that much and we weren’t meant for each other. Silly I know.

How to deal

If you don’t know what to say and they aren’t saying much either chances are the conversation is ending and you should just say good bye(yes really) Conversations in a relationship should have some kind of connection between the two of you, it should mean you find things you have in common with each other and that you can have real discussions and not just sweet nothings but it doesn’t mean you need to converse all the time non stop. Sometimes it’s ok not to have anything left to say. If you can make something out of the conversation, then go for it 🙂 but don’t stress if you can’t, just end the conversation as best you can and remember you can always talk again the next day.

When it comes to your next talk try and think of ways to get the conversation flowing. If you are in a fairly new relationship you can try to find out more about each other. What you like doing, eating, where you like to go, what happened to you when you were younger etc. If you been together awhile then it may be difficult but you can use what you know about them to get things flowing, you can ask them about their day, talk about their favourite subject and the things you do have in common.

You’re not listening!

My Experiences

This is one thing that happens to both me and my Special Someone, somehow the listening just stops. I know that I tend to live in my head and that he is used to alot of alone time so sometimes we space out I guess. It does get annoying especially when we have to repeat ourselves and we don’t want to or when we can’t remember what we just said.

How to deal

This is one thing that happens to lots of people, a story is being told and someones not paying attention and then that person gets upset. What I am going to say now may sound strange, but if you are on the phone, don’t be walking around and try not to fiddle with things around you. The reason why is because it is a distraction, your attention is elsewhere and your focus is not the call so you stop listening. If you are the one that gets upset try and choose your words carefully but definetely speak to your other half about it. If you are the one not listening, well try be understanding and listen to your other half 😉

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Pet Names

Hey Hey!! 😀

Something i’ve realised is that all couples have pet names, but they are all very different. You have the sickly sweet couples (snookums, lovekins etc) and the standard couple (honey, darling etc) aswell as all the other couples inbetween.

When I was growing up having a guy (or girl if you are a boy:-) ) call you sexy or babe was considered a good thing, they have always been quite popular names to give your boyfriend/girlfriend but I have never really liked those names, as it always reminded me of the guys that just wanted to make fun and take advantage.

My Special Someone has three pet names for me. Beautiful, (he used to use it alot when we first started dating)Gorgeous (a rare random pet name, didn’t come up often) and Sweetheart (the name I get called alot these days) all of which made me feel good, special and Loved. These pet names never made me feel like I wasn’t respected or that I was just valued for what I looked like as they are used to describe both inside (personality) and out (looks)

In my opinion, pet names are either silly names to make fun of each other or they are very sweet terms of endearment, so shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Me and my Special Someone call each other ‘Banana’ or ‘Fatty’ sometimes and we just laugh it off. Relationships are meant to be special and fun, so pet names are a nice addition to that.

What sort of pet names do you give to your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?:-D

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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Alone on Valentines Day

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I know I normally blog once a week but I thought maybe this was an occasion to pop out another post seeing as I have time and also because this subject seems quite important during this time. 

Pretty much my entire life except the last four years I have spent Valentines day on my own. Yes i’ve said it and yes it’s normal. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Looking back my first Valentines wasn’t even a date. My friends wanted to see some random political gay movie that was coming and we ended up eating at a Japanese restaurant, being told the movie we wanted to see was full and ended up seeing a Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson film instead, that we didn’t even get to see the end of, because we would miss the last train home. To make matters worse we missed the train and there was a problem with the buses. Ended up getting back home at 3am. The other Valentines days I spent with My Special Someone. To hear about a typical Valentines day of ours please click link below:

https://thesweetestpartsoflove.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/valentines/

Now for the Lonely Valentines Days. Well lets just say I was really ok with it. I didn’t care that people had boyfriends or were going out on this day. Here are a few reasons why:

  1. My friends didn’t have boyfriends / girlfriends
  2. I was pretty happy on my own up to a point
  3. Going out on this day would make my parents suspicious anyway
  4. Going out on this day means prices are doubled or at least cost more then on a regular day
  5. Everyone probably has the same idea so wherever you go there will be long lines and full restaurants (have to make reservations so need to know what you want before hand)

Those are all the reasons I can think of now. Valentines Day on my own was never a big deal if I just stayed at home and got on with my own thing. it’s easy when you are away from the loved up couples.

Being single doesn’t have to be a bad thing on this day if you just learn to Love yourself. Yeah you might think its sad to spend this day on your own especially since it is Saturday and a lot of people will… be free… to go out :S Just think that this day is for you on your own to do whatever you want. Want to spend all day watching movies, doing an at home spa, keeping up with your hobbies and any housework/home work etc. then do it. You are a strong single beautiful person and the fact that you are on your own shouldn’t change your worth so show a little Love… for yourself!:D

If you really feel like you want to do something then go out with your family or your friends or even spend the day at home with them. This day is about sharing the Love to the people who mean the most to you, not just a day for couples. It is not sad or lame or anything else you might think it is, it’s a nice thing. It doesn’t even have to be the entire day, just spend a few hours. Make the most of the day seeing as how its the weekend.

This day is once a year and you can get by it without a date. If you don’t have one then don’t worry. Don’t make yourself desperate and pick up a last minute date with someone you have never thought even once about and probably don’t even like that much. It won’t make things better. Learn to be happy on your own especially days like this. The confidence in yourself will increase. Embrace your single life. 

Happy Love Yourself Day! 😉

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Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

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What does Valentines mean to you?

Hey Hey!! 😀

Well it’s that time again. A dozen red roses, giant teddys with red bows and heart shaped chocolate boxes all for the one day to tell someone you Love them.

Alot of people have very different views on what this day means to them. You have the couples investing in expensive gifts and making a big show of their Love, there are couples who view it as card companies making money and take no interest in the day and then you got the people in the middle couple who don’t believe in celebrating their Love once a year but take a small part by having dinner and exchanging cards. Which couple are you?

Me and my Special Someone are a mixture of not really interested and taking a small part in Valentines day. A typical Valentines for us for the past four years we have celebrated, have never been on the 14th. I have always liked the idea of having our own day, so on Valentines day we choose a day to meet up. We exchange cards and our small gifts, it’s normally chocolates or a something random but sweet. We will pick a place to eat lunch and will always have dessert, whether it’s out or something we picked up at the supermarket to have at home. The rest of the day is pretty much conversations and a cuddle up. All in all I enjoy the day, no matter how simple (any excuse to celebrate how you want;-)). I appreciate having someone who Loves me, to be able to celebrate a day like this.

As this day means different things to people, just be aware of what your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner expects, especially if you are in a new relationship. There is nothing worse then planning what you think is your perfect day to find out that your other half is unhappy. Also to the people having high expectations on this day, maybe you don’t get exactly what you want but try and appreciate any plans and gifts your other half gives you. This day is to let people know you Love them not a day to show off and brag to your friends. It’s sweet of them to do anything at all, after all its the thought that counts right?

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you cherish sweet moments with your Lover and have fun!

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

P.S Don’t forget your family and friends, this day isn’t just about couples. Spread the Love! 🙂

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Are you ashamed?

Hey Hey!! 😀

Have you ever been in a relationship or on a date where you felt a bit embarrassed by your partner or date??? 

I have! 😮

I’ve always thought that you should never feel embarassed by someone you were dating unless it’s out of shyness. It’s very strange to me to feel ashamed of your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, it makes me wonder if you are with the right person or not because if you really liked or Loved this person, would it matter whether other people can see or hear what they are doing or saying? Would you being embarassed to be with them be normal?

Looking back I can see the embarassment was not me being judgemental or snobbish (yay!) it was because these ‘dates'(yep they were just dates, not relationships. Made the right decision to not make it go any further;-)) weren’t for me. They were wrong, I couldn’t enjoy their company, laugh at their jokes or anything because we didn’t click even alittle bit and it makes things awkward :-(But you know what? This is normal. Normal ‘dating’ stuff.

If you are in a commited/exclusive etc relationship then this being ashamed thing is not normal i’m afraid. Unless you are shy:-P being shy even after having been together for many years is still ok 😉

After the ‘just dating’ stage, you would think, to be in an exclusive relationship, you would be comfortable enough with who you are with to accept them fully like they have you. If you are having to let go of their hand, tell them to be quiet and move yourself away from them (while pretending to not know them) with out laughing with them then you clearly got a case of embarassment. Not good 😦

In my head, behaviour like the above could be result of three things, you really are just shy and easily embarassed, you are with the wrong person or the worst of all you care too much about what other people think and how they might judge your relationship.

I have said above that I have experienced awkward dates, but at the start of my current relationship I was a bit embarassed. From what I remember it was a mix of me being very shy and worrying about what others thought 😦 Within the first year I realised that worrying about people judging our relationship was stopping me from being happy. Going out together when we held hands I would casually let go and rummage in my bag when people were around. It’s not good, but i’m happier. Me and my Special Someone can talk bout what we want and do what we want and we don’t care who sees. We are happy and comfortable and the only embarassment we have is the one we can laugh about.

Never let anyone ruin what you’ve got!

Share Your Thoughts! 😀

X x x

P.S If your boyfriend can put up with you, surely you can do the same for them:-P